[In Wilson’s living room. Jessie is sitting calmly and Wilson is pacing around, nervously]
JESSIE:
Don’t freak out. It’s just one of the theories I gave him.
WILSON:
I cannot believe you! I don’t know how your crazy little head works but other people don’t do this! They don’t kill their father’s cat; blame it on their friend, then come to the same friend for help! (Exhales angrily) you…you tell me exactly what you told him.
JESSIE:
Look, I just told him that you take advanced chemistry and you love doing little experiments and maybe it was you who tested his latest chemical on him. But, I did remember to mention that I’m sure you meant no harm and the experiment just went wrong. (Seeing WILSON’s furious face) Don’t get mad. I told you, I don’t think he bought it.
WILSON:
And what made you think that?
JESSIE:
Because he still looked like he was gonna come at me with a Jackhammer!
WILSON:
Great. Well now he’s gonna come at me with a jackhammer!
JESSIE:
No! Will you relax?
WILSON:
Tell me something; couldn’t the cat have just died on its own, you know, of medical reasons?
JESSIE:
Nah.
WILSON:
Why? It’s perfectly plausible! She was old too.
JESSIE:
Firstly, she was perfectly healthy because she had her quarterly health check up just last week.
WILSON:
(Looks at him like he’s crazy)
JESSIE:
Hey man, don’t look at me. I told you my dad’s weird about that cat. Also, if we mention medical reasons to him, he’ll want to have an autopsy done.
WILSON:
(Talking more to himself than Jessie) We just have to think of someone else to blame this on. That’s all.
JESSIE:
Yeah, but he better believe it. Oh and we have to do it before he hires a freaking detective to catch the perpetrator of this heinous crime.
WILSON:
(Looks at him questioningly)
JESSIE:
His words, not mine.
(Just then the doorbell rings. Wilson looks through the peephole, then turns to face Jessie)
WILSON:
(Whispers): It’s your Dad! Now what?
JESSIE:
Well get the door! Not opening it won’t make him go away. And stop looking so guilty. You didn’t actually do anything, remember?
[WILSON takes a deep breath and lets Mr. PARKER in]
Mr. PARKER :
(At Wilson) did you do this?
WILSON:
(Looks to Jessie for help)
JESSIE:
Uh...Dad, that’s what I came here to ask him. But uh…turns out he didn’t do it after all.
WILSON:
(With a tiny voice): No, Sir.
JESSIE:
He was at home the whole time. He was uh… (Looks at Wilson)
WILSON:
Cleaning the kitchen.
JESSIE:
Clea... (Throws Wilson a pathetic look) cleaning the kitchen.
Mr. PARKER:
(After some thinking, looking resigned) I believe you Wilson. This settles it. I will have to hire a private investigator. The perpetrator of this heinous crime will not go unpunished.
JESSIE:
(Rolling his eyes) No dad. Please, there’s no need for that.
WILSON:
Yes. Jessie will figure this out for you.
JESSIE:
Yes! Yes, Jessie will … wait what?
WILSON:
(Taking Jessie aside, to Mr. PARKER) Just give us a minute.
[In Wilson’s kitchen, having a whispered discussion]
JESSIE:
What’re you doing?! (Looking around at the kitchen) Dude, did you really clean up in here?
WILSON:
Trying to save your ass. And mine. And of course I did.
JESSIE:
As if he’d ever find a loser who investigates cat killings.
WILSON:
Well what/if he does?
JESSIE:
(Breaking into an evil smile) Ok. Come with me. I’ve got an idea (holding Wilson by the elbow and taking him towards the living room) It’s a brilliant idea.
WILSON:
(Looks suspicious) I don’t like the look on your face. You look way too happy. It worries me.
JESSIE:
Just go with me on this one ok?
[In the living room]
JESSIE:
Dad, I think I know who did this. It’s Mr. Heckles. It’s gotta be him.
WILSON:
(Shocked, mouths the word) WHAT?!
Mr. PARKER:
(Disbelieving) Our neighbor? The one who got divorced because of you? Why would he kill Dolores?
JESSIE:
Because he hates me!
WILSON:
(In an undertone) no surprises there.
JESSIE:
He knew how much I loved Dolores and how much her death would affect me.
WILSON:
(Snorts and then covers it up as a cough)
JESSIE:
I’m sorry dad. This is all my fault.
WILSON:
(looks surprised)
JESSIE:
He did this to exact revenge on me.
Mr. PARKER:
If that is the case, then I want you to confront him.
JESSIE and WILSON
(In unison): What?!
Mr. PARKER:
Yes. Confront him and bring me a full confession.
JESSIE:
Uh…Uh…But I don’t know if that’s the best way to /deal with it.
WILSON:
Not the best way at all.
Mr. PARKER:
Well I think it is. You both are still the prime suspects. And I’m not going to barge into a man’s home and question him without proof. You think he exacted revenge on you. You should be the one to get me a full confession. If you do, then I’ll confront him.
JESSIE:
(Helpless) Right. Well, we’ll go over to him right now then.
[WILSON and JESSIE reluctantly leave the house]
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